Demon Spawns
by Carla Fox
Summary: Huddy! Alternative Universe Fanfic. A normal morning in the home of the House's, as normal as can get with two teenager siblings with the genes of Cuddy and House. It's payback time! My first House M.D. Fanfic, please read and review, means a lot to me!


**Demon Spawns**

**By Carla Fox**

**Author's Note: Hi! this is my first House fanfic ever, I am all about Huddy. I've been reading as many Huddy fanfics as I can get and I want to say thanks to all you Huddy fanfics writers out there, because you are an inspiration. **

**This is a very AU fanfic, with little remarks on the 4 Season, the timeline of this fanfic would around 4 Season also. Stacy never existed or wasn't as important as she is in the show. **

**I don't own anything related to House M.D. the characters and everything belongs to their owners. I don't get any money with this. This is doing just for fun.**

**English is not my first language, so please be gentle with your reviews, I do hope you like it and laugh a little, it is a silly story, I know. Thanks Dwparsnip for being my beta, as always :) Enjoy and please, please review. Pleeease.**

"Dad, I need the bathroom!" shouted a 16 year old girl knocking furiously on the door.

"Go away! You have yours!" shouted the voice of a pissed off man from inside.

"I would, if SOMEONE would call the damn plumber!" said the girl watching the door and crossing her arms over her chest, annoyed.

"I am a crippled man and you are perfectly healthy, call yourself," replied the man.

"You have functional fingers, plus that's YOUR job. You can't avoid father's duty like clinic," remarked the rather tall, very thin, black bushy haired girl with piercing blue eyes.

"Wanna bet?" asked the man with a smirking voice. The girl bit her lower lip, thinking. She didn't like to be annoying like her brother, but she certainly knew how; it was in her genes. So, she began knocking non-stop on the door with both fists.

"OPEN, OPEN, OPEN, OPEN…" she said with an annoying high-pitched voice, enough to raise the dead. She knew her father was probably cursing her.

"SHUT UP! I can't crap properly if you keep doing that!" replied the man angrily. She didn't care about the remark, she just smirked, suddenly looking more and more like him.

"Need Metamucil, old man?" laughed the girl evilly when a boy, taller than her passed by in the hallway. They looked at each other, the 17 year old boy raising his eyebrow at her, asking without words what was happening and she answered him with another raise eyebrow. Physically both teenagers were alike: tall and slim as their father, but had their mothers colors, almost like twins, but they weren't. They listened to some angry murmuring from behind the door, and then the sound of the toilet being flushed. The siblings smirked and high fived each other, congratulating themselves as they always did after messing with House. The boy kept walking to the stairs, going for the usual breakfast downstairs.

House opened the door a few moments later, holding his cane, wearing jeans, sport shoes and a custom t-shirt that said, "Nothing good comes from knocking her up" with a blurry picture of Cuddy down the words. The girl stood there, with a challenging expression on her face, not buying House's scary scowl.

"You know? I knew I should had given you up for adoption when you born," he said passing her, leaving the door opened. The girl smiled but as soon as she was close to the door she backed up quickly.

"OH GOD! You contaminated the bathroom!" she said plugging her nose with her hand, trying not the breath. House smirked.

"I guess I shouldn't have Feijoada for breakfast, but it doesn't matter because that is MY bathroom," he replied opening his big blue eyes making fun of her. (A/N: Feijoda is a brazilian dish made with black beans, rice, fried pork and other things, quite strong)

"Or maybe it's just more proof that you are rotten on the inside…" she said breathing through her mouth.

"Like you crap roses. I do recall the government asking for your diapers to make new biological weapons," House shot back.

"I was a baby, it's supposed to be like that. But honestly, this? You should go and be seen by a doctor, Dad," the girl answered walking into the bathroom quickly and opening the window so the fresh air came in. She walked quickly back to the door and waited for the smell to go away.

"Oh, let me see… I think the day I accept medical suggestions from you would be the day I actually clean dishes AND enjoy it," said House as soon as he saw the little black haired head in the doorway. He did enjoy the little word spars in the mornings with his children…it was as refreshing as Cuddy's coffee.

"I can always tell mom that I saw something in the toilet, a little blood… some dense and bad smelling urine when you came out. After all, it wouldn't be the first time you didn't flush it," she said giving him a mix of puppy eyes and an smartass smile. She knew that she had her ways with her mother and could present anything in a way that would get Cuddy worried and actually make him see a specialist.

"You wouldn't dare…" he said closing his eyes a little, analyzing his daughter. The girl stuck her tongue out at him and before closing the door, she murmured, "Wanna bet?"

House stood there, holding his cane looking at the now closed door and shouted at it childishly, "You are a She-Devil as your mother but without the breasts!"

The girl opened the door and looked angrily at him for a second, all Cuddy, but then the House genes kick in.

"At least I can grow breasts, you can't grow muscle in that leg. By the way, score one point for me on the board," she said acidly and closed the door a little too hard. House smiled widely and limped towards the stairs.

* * *

"Can you tell me again what karmic price we're paying with these kids? Because I am getting more and more excited with the idea of turning into a cockroach in the next life," he asked Cuddy as he walked up to a white board placed on the kitchen wall. On the board were the names, "House, Cuddy, Demon Spawn 1 and Demon Spawn 2". He took the black marker and added a line next to the Demon Spawn 2 line. Then he sat in his chair at the family kitchen table, putting his cane behind his son's chair, who smiled at his words but not raising his head from his cereal ball. 

"I didn't think you believed in the afterlife or reincarnation," she said with a smile as she walked to his side and added coffee to his "sex machine" mug.

"I don't, but I also know that it is not true that _Heaven is a Place on Earth_," he answered taking a sip of his coffee.

"Belinda Carlisle? C'mon... I am trying to eat here," said the boy making a disgusted face.

"That was for your mother, she needs small words," he said looking at his son. Lisa turned around and raised an eyebrow at him and House smiled innocently at her.

"Oh, by the way... if the principal calls you today, just play along," said the boy naturally to House, who wondered what he had done this time.

"And why would that be?" asked House curiously. Cuddy sat in her chair with her coffee and the newspaper, not listening to those two talking. After almost twenty years with the four of them together, she realized she had 3 children, not just 2.

"I don't know how, but he may have the impression that I was an abused child and you hit me with your cane," said the boy as though he were talking about the weather. House's eyes twitched a little while Cuddy's eyes grew wide.

"WHAT?!" she said to her son but he just smiled at her like it was nothing.

"C'mon, it was a good line to get chicks! Honestly Mom, your gender needs to get their heads checked once in a while. They'll buy anything," he said batting his long black lashes at her, the envy of every girl in school. Like his sister, he was slim and didn't have a built body, but his lovely good boy features were enough to make him an attractive young boy, but Cuddy had been immune to his _cuteness _since he turned eight. She was furious. House just smirked.

"No problem. So, how hard did I hit you?" he asked his son.

"HOUSE! Don't encourage him!" exclaimed Cuddy raising her voice.

"He is a senior, he'll be out soon... plus the principal is stupid. It would be fun to jerk his chain a little. It's been a while..." said House looking dramatically to the horizon.

"Calm down Mom," said an easygoing girly voice coming from the stairs all ready for school. "It was just a rumor. They already asked me, and they know my brother's lack of a sense of humor," said the girl as she walked to the table and sat next to her father. She put the bottle of Vicodin that he left in the bathroom next to him. He looked at it and not trusting her, opened it up to see if the pills indeed said "Vicodin" and that it was not a laxative, like Cuddy did it once. The girl just looked at her brother, like she didn't see House checking the pills and she smirked to herself.

"Excuse me?, _lack of a sense of humor_? It's not my fault that they are so moronic that they don't understand the subtlety of sarcasm," defended the boy. Cuddy sighed, knowing there was no way she could ever get any discipline in her home. She took a breath and hid behind the newspaper wondering what she was thinking when she decided to have House's children.

"He has a point," said House looking at his daughter, mug in hand. "The house of House has always been persecuted over the years for our love for sarcasm and irony... then came your mother and the villagers added witchcraft to the stew." Cuddy held her newspaper harder, wrinkling the pages. The siblings and House laughed softly at her.

"By the way, Mom... can I go out bowling tonight? It's Friday..." said the girl looking at her mother for approval. Cuddy put the newspaper down.

"That depends. Who are you going with?" asked Cuddy in her Dean tone of voice.

"Brian Chase and his sister," said the girl smiling sweetly. Somehow she had the incredible ability to fool her mother, an ability the two House men didn't have.

"Oh God! Don't tell me you are still running after that boy! You know, that's embarrassing, Cameron was behind my tail for years!" complained House making a face.

"That's none of your business, Dad. Plus, he is _this_ close to felt… I mean, to _like_ me" she corrected herself. House looked at her and actually felt sorry for Brian, he didn't know what he was getting into... even Cameron and Chase probably warned him about her, but he was doom anyway, she was House at the end.

"As long as you don't bring his children into this world it's fine with me," said House rolling his eyes.

"HOUSE!" warned Cuddy looking indignant.

"What? The Chase's genes are going to put a soft spot in our gene line. We should look for purity..."

"Like Hitler," murmured the boy as he finished his cereal.

"Exactly... purity of annoyance... I like that, go and procreate with Foreman's son," commanded House faking seriousness and slowly standing up.

"Can you stop telling your daughter to "procreate" with someone? She's 16," said Cuddy, standing up and taking her mug. The siblings did the same. House left his on the table and walked over the white board, adding a line next to Demon Spawn 1.

"Well Cuddles, I must say you are getting behind again," said House matter of factly. Lisa didn't even turn around, instead putting all the plates and mugs in the dishwasher. The boy and girl ran picking their backpacks and jackets, and like every day, no matter how old they were, they went to their parents and kissed them each on the cheek before running through the door saying their goodbyes.

Lisa and Greg looked at the closed door. House slowly smiled, putting the black marker in it's place. Cuddy walked next to him and put her arms around his neck in a tender embrace and House immediately pulled her closer to him.

"What do you think? Besides all the sarcasm, I think we have done a good job raising those two," she said looking into his eyes.

"Besides that, AND her bad taste in boys AND his bad pickup lines, I would say yes," House smiled at her and they softly kissed on the lips. They had the house to themselves, and it wouldn't be the first time they used that free half an hour before work to make out a little in the kitchen. They kissed deeper, tongues getting in on the action, a soft moaning coming from her throat when his hands went down to take up residence on one of his favorite parts in the whole world: her butt.

"I would give that a 9 on the scale of ickyness," said a girl's voice from the door, smirking at the picture of their parents making out in the middle of the kitchen. House and Cuddy let go of each other out of reflex, cheeks becoming red with embarrassment.

"Nah, it is sweet how old people can still _looove_," said the boy next to his sister. They returned just to make fun of them.

"If either of you decide to go to med school at Princeton, be sure I am not spending my money paying for it. I want you to go to the other side of the country," said House trying to control his aroused state by hiding smartly behind Cuddy, who looked between pissed off and embarrassed, even if she was posing cool.

"Ohh don't worry Dad…" said the boy laughing, hands crossed over his chest, "… what are we going to study, sis? Drama Acting? Reiki? Home Decoration?"

"Nope, I think law is best, good money in it."

"Nah, too much to remember," joked the boy again, looking at his younger sister, giving a show. "I know it…"

"Business Administration!" both said at the same time, making fun of their dad who was taken back with the joke and actually turned quite pale.

"Bye Dad! Bye Mom!" said the two of them leaving their mother with tears of laughter in her eyes and their father standing there looking on in shock. Suddenly, House took his cane and walked as fast as he could to the door, not liking being the one without the last word.

"YOU KNOW, WE WERE RIGHT TO NAME YOU TWO CARRIE AND DAMIEN! YOU-ARE-**EVIL**!" he shouted aloud, but the siblings were already gone and House cursed under his breath.

Cuddy, still laughing, walked to the white board and added a line next to each _pet name _of her children, then walked upstairs to get her things and his and go to work at Princeton-Plainsboro, like every day.

**The End.**

Another Author Note: I do like the _Heaven is a Place on Earth _song , I was just joking

You know you want to… press the little button down here… it's calling for you… the cake is a lie!


End file.
